how do I mute myself on zoom

You interrupted a human to find the mute button. Poetic.

Here's how to mute yourself in Zoom:

• Desktop app (Windows, Mac, Linux): Click the microphone icon in the bottom-left of the meeting toolbar. A red slash through it means you're muted.
• Keyboard shortcut: Alt + A on Windows, Cmd + Shift + A on Mac. Press it again to unmute.
• Push-to-talk: While muted, hold the spacebar to talk for a moment. Let go and you're muted again. You can turn this on in Settings > Audio.
• Phone or tablet app: Tap the screen to bring up the controls, then tap Mute in the bottom-left.
• Web browser: Click the Mute button in the bottom-left toolbar.
• Dialled in by phone: Press \*6 to mute or unmute.

Tip: To join every meeting already muted, go to Settings > Audio and tick "Mute my microphone when joining a meeting."

If the toolbar has disappeared, move your mouse over the Zoom window and it will come back.

That took less time than your message did.